May 2010
52 posts
May 31st
350 notes
Today at work...
I spilled orchetta pasta sauce all over a fat mans lap.  After I apologized, he looked me in the eyes and said “Take this back.” I replied “You don’t want it?”  He responded “Not anymore. Now I’m just going to wear it.” I was slightly taken aback. Shocked, I looked at him and said “Sorry Sir, Can I get you anything else? Please, Its on...
May 29th
2 notes
Listenconormckeon: pepper | butthole surfers
May 29th
Anonymous asked: You're a dick.
May 29th
1 tag
GARY COLEMAN RIP
R.I.P. Gary Coleman (Really Inferior Penis)….Gary Coleman died from SBS (shaken baby syndrome) … Gary Coleman’s memorial service will be held at 11pm on Nick@Night immediately following Threes Company … Coincidentally the memorial service will be called Threes Company because only 3 people are expected to be in attendance… Paramedics would have been able to get to...
May 28th
May 28th
21 notes
Gary Coleman is dead. Apparently Willis was... →
May 28th
1 note
May 28th
Listencaseydonahue: Kanye West - Power Casey is on...
May 28th
18 notes
3 tags
May 28th
ListenThis is what my blog is named after. 
May 27th
536 notes
May 27th
170 notes
May 27th
May 26th
1,596 notes
So...
I am trying to write a Mcsweenys article… Considering I don’t have anything to do today, I have set aside 14 hours to write it. Hope all goes well. 
May 26th
2 notes
May 22nd
2 notes
May 20th
2 notes
WatchWatch
jakeandamir: Rubik’s Cube Top Ten 
May 20th
155 notes
Home.
Proud to say that since I have been home I have learned how to count cards (Las Vegas, TNT), I have gotten a better understanding of New York State laws (Law & Order, USA), and figured out that Cold Case is a deplorable excuse for a television show (Cold Case, TNT) 
May 20th
May 20th
May 20th
5 notes
May 19th
May 18th
212 notes
May 17th
94 notes
May 17th
139 notes
May 14th
220 notes
May 13th
245 notes
Listenconormckeon: mikekarnell: i be on that -...
May 13th
27 notes
May 13th
3,799 notes
May 12th
10 notes
May 11th
I just watched as someone unfollowed me...
72 followers…refresh….71 followers. ouch. 
May 11th
Another Mother's Day Without My Mother
As I sit in my dorm room during finals week I realize that this has been the second year in a row that I have had the privilege of spending Mother’s Day away at college while my family foolishly tries to please my mother (not like that Freud!) by giving her a bottle of Mariah Carey’s new scent and some burnt toast at 7am. I was not there when breakfast in bed is ruined because the dog jumped on...
May 10th
70 Followers
I had 35 followers on Friday… Welcome friends. This blog wont disappoint. 
May 10th
Im studying for a big final at 8:30 tomorrow...
My roommate (not alex watt) has been talking obnoxiously loud to his GF for the past 2 hours and just stopped. When he was done he jumped up in his bed and said “hey pat, can you shut the light off?”  are you fucking kidding me.  No roommate I cant cause I’m studying and I fucking need the light you inconsiderate fuck. 
May 10th
Well...Now that this CollegeHumor article... →
May 9th
jakeandamirgifs asked: Wow! You wrote the Cartoon University article?! That was hilarious! I especially love the Spongebob one and the Powerpuff Girls one.
May 9th
4 tags
May 8th
May 7th
74 notes
May 7th
3 notes
May 6th
A New Mix...Vampire Weekend Starts It Off, Daft... →
May 6th
May 4th
789 notes
May 4th
182 notes
May 3rd
4 notes
Evidence that the internet is 100% "in on it."
alexwatt: The first two songs played by Pandora after I realizing I didn’t save the paper I had been working on for hours were “Just Like Starting Over” by John Lennon and “Helpless” by Neil Young. Totally agree. I just put on my Pandora and the first two songs were “Loser” by Beck and “Go To Sleep You Stupid Fucking Idiot” By Insane Clown Posse.
May 3rd
2 notes
May 2nd
May 2nd
251 notes
Listenstrawberrywhine: this is what i want my life to...
May 2nd
May 2nd
13 notes